Will 'yes means yes' laws change the rules of sex?


Two New Yorkers attend a cuddle party.
Could sex on university campuses soon require a lot more talking?
California Governor Jerry Brown signed the country's first affirmative consent law last week, which requires that both partners give ongoing consent during sexual activity.
Following suit, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo last week ordered all of state-run universities to include an affirmative consent policy in their sexual assault investigation guidelines.

The law defines affirmative consent as a conscious and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity. Under the law, lack of protest, silence or previous sexual history do not count as consent.
This "yes means yes" law is designed to make consent the responsibilities of both sexual partners, not just the woman - but not everyone is on board with the new law.

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The first time a girl has her 'affirmative consent' used to shame her in public, expect backlash from the same people who pushed this”
Amy Otto The Federalist
"Most of us know what this kind of consent looks like in practice, but as a legal standard, it's hard to imagine how it would be implemented," writes the Nation's Michelle Goldberg. "Do moans count as consent? How about a nod, or a smile, or meaningful eye contact?"
Goldberg says that the main weaknesses in the law are the preconceived notion that sexual assault stems from a lack of communication and the blurring of the line between assault and consensual sex.
While the law may do some good by encouraging partners to have a dialogue about what they want or don't want to happen, Goldberg says it may be too vague.
Amy Otto writes in The Federalist that the push to obtain clear consent can lead down a path that could hurt women.
She cites the Good2Go app which was designed to record who you are sleeping with, when you are sleeping with them and how intoxicated you were at the time. The app was designed to increase communication and avoid "he said, she said" situations, but it was recently removed from the Apple app store following intense criticism.
Although Good2Go is gone, Otto says that the future implications of this law will look a lot like this kind of public documentation of sex, which could backfire.
"The first time a girl has her 'affirmative consent' used to shame her in public, expect backlash from the same people who pushed this in the first place while mocking anyone questioning the unintended consequences of regulating what used to be a private act," she writes.
At the heart of the affirmative consent debate is a fundamental misunderstanding of how human sexuality works, writes Shikha Dalmia for the Week. What's more, it might just ruin good sex.
She says that both partners during sex are rarely on exactly the same page in terms of desire, but this shouldn't mean that what happens is necessarily a criminal act.
"The reality is that much of sex is not consensual - but it is also not non-consensual. It resides in a gray area in-between, where sexual experimentation and discovery happen," she says.
"Affirmative consent" means affirmative, conscious, and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity. It is the responsibility of each person involved in the sexual activity to ensure that he or she has the affirmative consent of the other or others to engage in the sexual activity. Lack of protest or resistance does not mean consent, nor does silence mean consent. Affirmative consent must be ongoing throughout a sexual activity and can be revoked at any time. The existence of a dating relationship between the persons involved, or the fact of past sexual relations between them, should never by itself be assumed to be an indicator of consent. - California SB-967 Student safety: sexual assault
Writing for the Cut, Ann Friedman argues otherwise.
"There's a long history of women - especially young, straight women - having sex that's consensual but not really much fun. And an equally long history of their male partners walking home the next morning thinking, 'Nailed it'," she writes.
This law will force students in consenting sexual relationships to be more open - and thus, have better sex.
"Most young men, it bears repeating, aren't rapists. Even in the absence of a university policy, they are worried about inadvertently doing something in bed that their partner doesn't welcome. And most men are actively thinking about whether their partner is enjoying herself. The new law makes life easier for both them and the women they sleep with, because it creates a compelling reason for both parties to speak up and talk about what they like," she says.
The affirmative consent movement's defenders also say confusion and unfounded hysteria surround California's efforts.
Yes the law is imperfect, Slate's Jenny Kutner writes, but it does not mean that men will suddenly face a rash of unfair accusations.
"Innocent men are not routinely convicted as rapists, and they will not routinely be convicted as rapists under affirmative consent laws," she says.

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Innocent men are not routinely convicted as rapists, and they will not routinely be convicted as rapists under affirmative consent laws”
Jenny Kutner Slate
While this law will make it easier to convict those who have committed sexual assault, it could also lead to a positive change in the overall culture.
"Instead of pushing ahead when a young woman says she 'isn't sure' she wants to have sex, there will be a young man who pursues a direct, enthusiastic 'yes' before moving forward. There will be college students thinking twice about their actions, talking about sex and then, one hopes, having it consensually."
Townhall's Conn Carroll agrees.
"All this law does is alter one element required for a sexual assault charge and shift the burden of proof to a 'preponderance of the evidence' standard," he writes, which will make it easier for schools to punish bad actors. Yes, that might result in more men being expelled or suspended, but he doesn't see that as a problem. After all, just because schools are notoriously bad at punishing those accused of sexual assault, it doesn't mean that the accused haven't committed an offence.
"I do not care if these behaviours 'typically' are not punished now," he says. "Many of them should be."
bbc.

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Perhaps the most notable was King Hussein of Jordan. Continue reading the main story Find out more Matthew Teller presents Sandhurst and the Sheikhs, a Whistledown production for BBC Radio 4, on Wednesday 27 August 2014 at 11:00 BST It will be available on iPlayer shortly after broadcast Four reigning Arab monarchs are graduates of Sandhurst and its affiliated colleges - King Abdullah of Jordan, King Hamad of Bahrain, Sheikh Tamim, Emir of Qatar, and Sultan Qaboos of Oman. Past monarchs include Sheikh Saad, Emir of Kuwait, and Sheikh Hamad, Emir of Qatar. Sandhurst's links have continued from the time when Britain was the major colonial power in the Gulf. "One thing the British were excellent at was consolidating their rule through spectacle," says Habiba Hamid, former foreign policy strategist to the rulers of Dubai and Abu Dhabi. "Pomp, ceremony, displays of military might, shock and awe - they all originate from the British military relationship." Sheikh Hamad Bin Isa Al Khalifa, King Abdullah, Sultan Qaboos Sandhurst alumni: King Hamad of Bahrain, King Abdullah of Jordan and Sultan Qaboos of Oman It's a place where future leaders get to know each other, says Michael Stephens, deputy director of the Royal United Services Institute, Qatar. And Sandhurst gives the UK influence in the Gulf. "The [UK] gets the kind of attention from Gulf policy elites that countries of our size, like France and others, don't get. It gives us the ability to punch above our weight. "You have people who've spent time in Britain, they have… connections to their mates, their teachers. Familiarity in politics is very beneficial in the Gulf context." "For British people who are drifting around the world, as I did as a soldier," says Brigadier Peter Sincock, former defence attache to Saudi Arabia, "you find people who were at Sandhurst and you have an immediate rapport. I think that's very helpful, for example, in the field of military sales." The Emir of Dubai Mohammad bin Rashid Al Maktoum with his son after his Passing Out Parade at Sandhurst in 2006 Sheikh Mohammad bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Emir of Dubai, with his son in uniform at Sandhurst in 2006 Her Majesty The Queen's Representative His Highness Sheikh Hamad bin Khalifa Al-Thani, The Emir of Qatar inspects soldiers during the 144th Sovereign's Parade held at The Royal Military Academy Sandhurst on April 8, 2004 in Camberley, England. Some 470 Officer cadets took part of which 219 were commissioned into the British Army Hamad bin Khalifa Al-Thani, the Emir of Qatar until 2013, inspects soldiers at Sandhurst in 2004 Emotion doesn't always deliver. In 2013, despite the personal intervention of David Cameron, the UAE decided against buying the UK's Typhoon fighter jets. But elsewhere fellow feeling is paying dividends. "The Gulf monarchies have become important sources of capital," says Jane Kinninmont, deputy head of the Middle East/North Africa programme at the foreign affairs think tank Chatham House. "So you see the tallest building in London being financed by the Qataris, you see UK infrastructure and oilfield development being financed by the UAE. There's a desire - it can even seem like a desperation - to keep them onside for trade reasons." British policy in the Gulf is primarily "mercantile", says Dr Kristian Coates Ulrichsen, of the Baker Institute in Houston, Texas. Concerns over human rights and reform are secondary. The Shard at dusk The Shard was funded by Qatari investors In 2012 Sandhurst accepted a £15m donation from the UAE for a new accommodation block, named the Zayed Building after that country's founding ruler. In March 2013, Sandhurst's Mons Hall - a sports centre - was reopened as the King Hamad Hall, following a £3m donation from the monarch of Bahrain, who was educated at one of Sandhurst's affiliated colleges. The renaming proved controversial, partly because of the perceived slight towards the 1,600 British casualties at the Battle of Mons in August 1914 - and partly because of how Hamad and his government have dealt with political protest in Bahrain over the last three years. A critic might note that the third term of Sandhurst's Officer Commissioning Course covers counter-insurgency techniques and ways to manage public disorder. Since tension between Bahrain's majority Shia population and minority Sunni ruling elite boiled over in 2011, more than 80 civilians have died at the hands of the security forces, according to opposition estimates, though the government disputes the figures. Thirteen police officers have also lost their lives in the clashes. "The king has always felt that Sandhurst was a great place," says Sincock, chairman of the Bahrain Society, which promotes friendship between the UK and Bahrain. "Something like 20 of his immediate family have been there as cadets. He didn't really understand why there was such an outcry." David Cameron and King Hamad David Cameron meeting King Hamad in 2012... A protester is held back by police ... while protesters nearby opposed the Bahrain ruler's human rights record Crispin Black, a Sandhurst graduate and former instructor, says the academy should not have taken the money. "Everywhere you look there's a memorial to something, a building or a plaque that serves as a touchstone that takes you right to the heart of British military history. Calling this hall 'King Hamad Hall' ain't gonna do that." Sandhurst gave a written response to the criticism. "All donations to Sandhurst are in compliance with the UK's domestic and international legal obligations and our values as a nation. Over the years donations like this have saved the UK taxpayer a considerable amount of money." But what happens when Sandhurst's friends become enemies? In 2001, then-prime minister Tony Blair visited Damascus, marking a warming of relations between the UK and Syria. Shortly after, in 2003, Sandhurst was training officers from the Syrian armed forces. Now, of course, Syria is an international pariah. Journalist Michael Cockerell has written about Libyan dictator Colonel Gaddafi's time at the Army School of Education in Beaconsfield in 1966: "Three years [later], Gaddafi followed a tradition of foreign officers trained by the British Army. He made use of his newfound knowledge to seize political power in his own country." Ahmed Ali Sandhurst-trained Ahmed Ali was a key player in the Egyptian military's removal of Islamist President Mohammed Morsi That tradition persists. In the 1990s Egyptian colonel Ahmed Ali attended Sandhurst. In 2013 he was one of the key figures in the Egyptian military's removal of Islamist President Mohammed Morsi, now rewarded by a post in President Sisi's inner circle of advisers. In the late 1990s there were moves by the British government under Tony Blair to end Sandhurst's training of overseas cadets. Major-General Arthur Denaro, Middle East adviser to the defence secretary and commandant at Sandhurst in the late 1990s, describes the idea as part of the "ethical foreign policy" advocated by the late Robin Cook, then-foreign secretary. Tony Blair and Robin Cook Tony Blair and Robin Cook at one point planned to end Sandhurst's training of overseas cadets The funeral of King Hussein in 1999 appears to have scuppered the plan. "Coming to that funeral were the heads of state of almost every country in the world - and our prime minister was there, Tony Blair," says Major-General Denaro. "He happened to see me talking to heads of state - the Sultan of Brunei, the Sultan of Oman, the Bahrainis, the Saudis - and he said 'How do you know all these guys?' The answer was because they went to Sandhurst." Today, Sandhurst has reportedly trained more officer cadets from the UAE than from any other country bar the UK. The May 2014 intake included 72 overseas cadets, around 40% of whom were from the Middle East. "In the future," says Maryam al-Khawaja, acting president of the Bahrain Centre for Human Rights, "people will look back at how much Britain messed up in the [Middle East] because they wanted to sell more Typhoon jets to Bahrain, rather than stand behind the values of human rights and democracy." "It's one thing saying we're inculcating benign values, but that's not happening," says Habiba Hamid. Sandhurst is "a relic of the colonial past. They're not [teaching] the civic values we ought to find in democratically elected leaders." line Who else went to Sandhurst? Princes William and Harry, Winston Churchill, Ian Fleming, Katie Hopkins, Antony Beevor, James Blunt, Josh Lewsey, Devon Harris (From left to right) Princes William and Harry Sir Winston Churchill Ian Fleming, creator of James Bond (but did not complete training) Katie Hopkins, reality TV star Antony Beevor, historian James Blunt, singer-songwriter Josh Lewsey, World Cup-winning England rugby player Devon Harris, member of Jamaica's first bobsleigh team line Sandhurst says that "building international relations through military exchanges and education is a key pillar of the UK's international engagement strategy". Sandhurst may be marvellous for the UK, a country where the army is subservient to government, but it is also delivering militarily-trained officers to Middle Eastern monarchies where, often, armies seem to exist to defend not the nation but the ruling family.

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